It is day 2 of the 30 day writing challenge, and I have to say this one is really hard. I’ve been told things but I have always forgotten because it wasn’t so important. Unfortunately I always seem to remember the bad things.
Day 2: Write something that someone told you about yourself that you never forgot.
Okay, so this is not going to be about being told something positive. Growing up I got picked on via school, my so called friends and even family. I was always told “you’re fat”, “you’re ugly” & “oh my, I’m so worried about you cause the size you are”. The last one is what I used to hear from family all the time and still do sometimes. The others was just people I went to school with starting in grade school, all the way up thru high school. I wasn’t that fat of a kid, I think I was maybe a few pounds overweight that was it. Yeah I’m not the prettiest thing, but c’mon don’t have to shove it down my throat. I think because of all that, I have social issues, I don’t know how to actually be social around people. I always feel out of place, I feel as if I stay in the corner away from everyone, and keep my mouth shut it will be the best thing.
Hearing that I was “fat” & “ugly” just made life so complicated. While I would walk in school I could hear people say stuff about me and just made it to where I hated everyone. My family have always said that they were worried about my weight and stuff, but I’ve had several tests done, I am plus size and HEALTHY!! Yet, they still cannot get that thru their heads. I think because of going thru all that I now don’t have confidence in myself, when I look in the mirror I see nothing but ugliness. I’m always dissing myself and people get mad at me for it. It’s like, um I grew up listening to it, it is embedded into my mind, it’s something I just can’t forget overnight.
Not a very positive post, but sadly it’s all I can think of. People have told me positive things, but they haven’t fully meant it, or it just didn’t mean much for me to remember.