Kicking my ass (day 27/30)


I started this “30 Day Writing Challenge” back in February 2016, and well this days challenge I just couldn’t think of anything to write so I actually forgot about it and just recently remembered and guess I need to finish it.

Day 27: “Conversely, write about something that’s kicking ass right now”

To be honest, life is kicking my ass right now 😦 the past month has been a crazy month for us. If it isn’t one thing it’s another, and doesn’t seem to be getting any better. My fiance lost his job back in April because his contract had run out, so he’s been looking for work since and haven’t been having luck.

With that going on our son has had a wicked temper lately. Not sure what’s causing it but I wish it would go away. It’s like we get him under control and the attitude gone and then all of a sudden BAM he’s back at it again. It’s just so damn frustrating when he acts up, because his temper is super wicked. At time’s he’ll get so pissed off he’ll jump and stomped down on the floors and our floors are already crappy he has literally put holes in some spots. We have carpeted floors but you can feel where there is a piece of board missing 😦 thankfully our landlord hasn’t said anything about it, but what doesn’t help is the floors suck anyway but that complaining is for another time. I just wish I knew what is causing all of T’s issues, there are days where I sit and blame myself.

My Etsy shop KreativeMumma, has also haven’t been doing to well, I get some views a day but the sales just ain’t coming 😦 I try to work on things for the shop but funds are so tight right now I’m limited to what I can make.

I’m just hoping soon we will see some better days, I’m not sure how much I can take before I completely lose it. I’m tired of all the stress this has been causing, it wears down a lot on a person 😦 so please say a prayer and fingers crossed for us that D is able to find a job and things start improving for us ❤

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Improvements? (day 26/30)


Wow, the challenge is almost done already. Today’s an interesting one “Write about an area in your life you’d like to improve”. 

Of course there are things I would like to improve in my life, who wouldn’t? But, I think all the bullshit I put up with in life is what makes me a stronger person, and it’s just how my life is supposed to be.

But, if I did want to actually improve, it would be my physical health, I am overweight but I am actually healthy, I’ve had several test done to check things and they all come back normal, I’ve surprised me doctors it’s crazy. If I could I would love to lose some weight, hell even 50lbs would be nice, yes I’d still be overweight but it would be nice. However, I have PCOS, and that makes it much harder to lose the weight. I am proud of myself tho, I did manage to lose 15lbs when I last went to the docs, but I still would like to lose at least another 50lbs. I know over time I will eventually get to where I am at, right now I’ll slowly lose the weight, because it is such a struggle with the PCOS. I am currently chubby and healthy, so I can just continue enjoying my crazy life 🙂

Camping (25/30)


No we didn’t go camping, but today’s challenge is “think of any word. Search it on Google images. Write something inspired by the 11th image”. 

new hampshire camping

The word I used was “camping”, my inspiration is to just simply stop and enjoy life. Take time to enjoy the most simplest things, leave technology behind for a few days. This is something I am hoping we can do this year, sadly we couldn’t last year due to my uncles property being flooded out a lot. Let’s hope for a good summer so we can camp again 🙂

Learned the hard way (day 24/30)


So, today’s challenge is “write about a lesson you’ve learned the hard way”. Well, I really haven’t experienced that. No I haven’t grown up or currently living the easy life, or am I just a great person. I’ve had a tough childhood and current life situation is crazy as fuck, I’ve just haven’t had any lessons to learn the hard way. I don’t know why but I just haven’t, even D gave me a look of “what will you do” when I told him today’s challenge lol.

I just look at life like, I don’t care about my family’s drama because that’s exactly what it is and it doesn’t involve me so why bother. I never gotten into trouble because who the fuck am I going to get into trouble with? I basically grew up with no friends due to social anxiety, so I pretty much kept to myself. I also speak my mind on things and it don’t bother me if it as a backlash or not. So yeah, no lessons learned sorry.

Dear Wayne (day 23/30)


Today’s challenge “Write a letter to someone, anyone.”

giphy

Wayne,

Yes I called you that instead of dad or father, why, because you never acted like one of those growing up and still don’t. I just simply want to know what us kids ever did to you to make you not want us in your life? Did you just simply not want anything to do with us? Were you just afraid to be part of giving life to something? I just wish you would tell us why, but you never will.

Growing up you were barely there for us kids, your first born you wanted nothing to do with her, why? Why did you also not let us know about her? We would have loved to know about our older sister, but that’s okay, we finally got to know each other online and hope to meet someday. I don’t know why you would want nothing to do with her years ago, because she is now a grown, strong ass woman, and is simply amazing! I can’t wait to meet my sister.

While we grew up just me and B (my brother, err our brother lol), you were physically and mentally abusive to us, more mental than anything. I hated having to go to your house every other weekend because it was nothing but whichever woman you were with they would take care of us while your ass drank and would pass out. There was a few times you took us to the bar, we would sit in the back with a soda and you would sit at the bar drinking then drive back to your place. What kind of person does that fucking shit? There was one time you had us and we literally had nothing to eat and barely anything to drink the whole weekend, you didn’t want to be bothered with us and the bitch you were with was only worried about her kid, and feeding it.

Then there was another time you took us camping, first time was with one of your girlfriends and you were drunk the whole time. The second time you took us so you could actually meet up with buddies and drink, me and B took off walking the campground trying to find someone to let us call our mom. Finally we found out your ex girlfriend was camping and she helped us get a hold of our mother to get us, because you were so damn drunk you didn’t even know me and B had taken off. What would have happened if me and B got hurt or someone took us? We were just fucking little kids, like really?!

I’m 28 years old, and you have basically been nothing to me, you have an amazing grandson and I don’t ever want him to meet you in person. I don’t want him to see the real you, he doesn’t deserve to get hurt the way you hurt us three kids growing up. Then all of a sudden after several years you finally decide to get to know your older daughter and then you send all of us including your grandson a Christmas gift? What’s the fucking deal, are you just realizing how bad you fucked up or you actually dying finally? Either way, this father-daughter relationship you were apparently trying to build back up, failed AGAIN. You always say you want to try and build that back up, I agree to it and you just give up. Is it just me you can’t stand anymore? I don’t know if you still talk to our sister or brother but I know damn well you don’t talk to me anymore.

So basically, I can’t wait for your drunken ass to die, sounds harsh but I’m done trying to be nice. I’m tired of getting my heart broke because you say you want to get to know me and your grandson then one week later you literally stop talking. So I’m done, have a great life with all your whores in FL, you got what 3 or more plus your wife? Somethings never change with you.

One of your children who is fed up with you

-K

Music (day 22/30)


Today’s challenge “Put your music on shuffle, and post the first ten songs”, but there is just one problem. I don’t have anything to put my music on shuffle, I have an MP3 player that I haven’t used in years, also I have no idea where that is anyways. I listen to all my music on Pandora Radio, so I guess I’ll post the most recent 10 songs I have listened to on there?

  1. House of the Rising Sun – Five Finger Death Punch
  2. Bad Company – Five Finger Death Punch
  3. If You Could Only See – Tonic
  4. Kryptonite – 3 Doors Down
  5. Love Runs Out – OneRepublic
  6. Woah Oh Oh – Zombie Nation
  7. Fuck It – Seether
  8. Words as Weapons – Seether
  9. Antiserum & Mayhem – Trippy
  10. Alien Ant Farm – Smooth Criminal

Well there we have it, ten random songs.

Life lessons (day 21/30)


What are three lessons you want your children to learn from you?”

This could be pretty easy to pinpoint down to three life lessons I would want T to learn from me.

Lesson 1 – Always be yourself! Growing up, I wasn’t always allowed to be myself because I would speak my mind and it would piss people off. I don’t want my son to grow up like that, because I know how much it bothered me having to keep everything inside. This also means, don’t let anyone change who you are and how you look at life. Don’t get bullied because you may be different. Just keep your head held high, and tell the neigh sayers….FUCK OFF, I learned that now that I’m an adult.

 

Lesson 2 – It’s okay to make mistakes, and at the same time no one is perfect. If you make mistakes in life, get back up and try again. That’s the only way you will succeed in life. Being perfect isn’t going to get you happiness in life, it may seem like it will when in reality it won’t.

Lesson 3- NEVER and I do mean NEVER EVER judge someone because they may be different, or because of their looks or their size. I can’t express it enough, never judge people by the cover.

Thankfully so far T is already learning these lessons, and sticking to them. He may only be 6 years old, but he lets it be known if someone is pissing him off, and does not judge people, it may sound mean but I’ve told him if he judges people because of their looks or sizes that he is just plain rude and mean, and guess what he don’t judge people. Now with lesson 2 of making mistakes, he is still learning that. He thinks that if he makes a mistake it’s the worst and he just shuts down. He is really tough on himself, he’s a perfectionist when it comes to things, I have no idea where he gets that from. He has gotten better the past year.