What happened?

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What happened to how things used to be? Yes we all have to grow up but does that mean life has to become complicated and you give up on things you used to enjoy doing like hobbies?

Growing up I didn’t really like doing much, I stayed home and had absolutely no life. As I got older like 16 (2003) I started to write poems & short stories, also sometimes I would do some drawing. As I got little bit older around 20 (2007) I for some reason just stopped, more like around 2008 is when I stopped. Occasionally I would do some drawing but not worth showing anyone. Then in 2012 I started up sewing, I hadn’t sewn anything since I was in middle school.

I had fun sewing stuff, but as usual I’m just bored with sewing, which is not good because that’s part of my business 😦 The whole not sewing thing I think is because I just got worn out, always having family want me to make them stuff (I have a problem saying no) then trying to make stuff for the shop & some of it not selling. Then on top of all that I was doing a lot of sewing for gaming conventions, I think last years convention is what really caused me to not want to sew anymore. I was severely disappointed with how that weekend went, I had made so much stuff & barely sold anything, I’m lucky if I sold 1/4 of what I brought.

Crocheting is another thing I enjoyed doing, but I am slowly getting bored with it. Like there’s so much I’d love to crochet but then I get it in my mind that I don’t need to because it will be just a cluster added to the rest of the cluster in my house.

Heck I used to blog a lot but anymore I don’t keep up with it, I just run out of things to type about. 😦

So I just don’t know what to do anymore. I’m trying to enjoy the hobbies I love but I just can’t seem to & my sewing stuff alone takes up a lot of room & I feel horrible cause I have it all set up but feel bleh when it comes to sewing. I miss writing but can’t ever think of anything to write. AHHHH why does it have to be like this? How the hell do I get out of this funk?!

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Updated Sewing Space!

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My little sewing space has always been a part of our dinning room, and since I started back up sewing in 2011 my love for it has grown meaning I’ve gotten more and more stuff for it. So it was finally time to get everything properly organized. Our dinning room is like a little over 1/2 filled with sewing related items, the rest is our actual table and arts & crafts shelf. I am actually loving how it is all set up, now if I could just get back into actually sewing again that would be nice. I haven’t sewn since after RetroGameCon, I don’t know why but I just haven’t felt like sewing, I think part of it is because I lost the enjoyment of sewing and it feels like a job because of my Etsy shop. Well, enough of the boohoo nonsense onto pictures of my sewing space 🙂

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I used to have a separate table for just my sewing space but it was just taking up space so now my cutting table is also used for my sewing machine. The table also used to be on risers but because of the sewing machine I had to take them off otherwise I couldn’t sew, my legs are too short to reach the peddle lol.

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Up close of “Beasty”, this is by far the best sewing machine I’ve ever owned!! It was pricey when it was bought but so worth it. This machine has done lots of quilting and making awesome stuff.

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This lovely shelf is new, and it holds ALL my fabric!! No more keeping fabric in several bins. It finally has a nice place to be stored and nothing happen to them. I’m pretty proud of myself I put this together 3/4 by myself and the other 1/4 was help from D.

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This shelf serves two purposes, the top three shelves are used for my sewing supplies. The very top has all my sewing patterns and ideas along with other important things, and the shelf with the white drawers is something new. Michael’s was having a huge sale and I got this for only $15 instead of $45, and it’s perfect to store the little things I need for sewing. There are two more shelves not pictured that holds all our board games.

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This lazy Susan is an awesome investment! Along with the other white drawers, this too was on sale at Michael’s, originally $45 and I got it for only $15!! Of course next to it is my basket full of our perler bead projects 🙂

Overall, everything is finally in a spot where we can find it all. I’m not a very organized person but I’m glad to have my sewing spot organized. Do you have to share your crafting area with another room in the house like I do? Or do you get to have a crafting room? Someday I am hoping to have a place where I can have a crafting room 🙂

Improvements? (day 26/30)

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Wow, the challenge is almost done already. Today’s an interesting one “Write about an area in your life you’d like to improve”. 

Of course there are things I would like to improve in my life, who wouldn’t? But, I think all the bullshit I put up with in life is what makes me a stronger person, and it’s just how my life is supposed to be.

But, if I did want to actually improve, it would be my physical health, I am overweight but I am actually healthy, I’ve had several test done to check things and they all come back normal, I’ve surprised me doctors it’s crazy. If I could I would love to lose some weight, hell even 50lbs would be nice, yes I’d still be overweight but it would be nice. However, I have PCOS, and that makes it much harder to lose the weight. I am proud of myself tho, I did manage to lose 15lbs when I last went to the docs, but I still would like to lose at least another 50lbs. I know over time I will eventually get to where I am at, right now I’ll slowly lose the weight, because it is such a struggle with the PCOS. I am currently chubby and healthy, so I can just continue enjoying my crazy life 🙂

Music (day 22/30)

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Today’s challenge “Put your music on shuffle, and post the first ten songs”, but there is just one problem. I don’t have anything to put my music on shuffle, I have an MP3 player that I haven’t used in years, also I have no idea where that is anyways. I listen to all my music on Pandora Radio, so I guess I’ll post the most recent 10 songs I have listened to on there?

  1. House of the Rising Sun – Five Finger Death Punch
  2. Bad Company – Five Finger Death Punch
  3. If You Could Only See – Tonic
  4. Kryptonite – 3 Doors Down
  5. Love Runs Out – OneRepublic
  6. Woah Oh Oh – Zombie Nation
  7. Fuck It – Seether
  8. Words as Weapons – Seether
  9. Antiserum & Mayhem – Trippy
  10. Alien Ant Farm – Smooth Criminal

Well there we have it, ten random songs.

Celebrity Crushes (day 20/30)

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Today is “Post about three celebrity crushes”, I honestly have A LOT of celebrity crushes, but I’ll keep it down to just three of them, which wasn’t easy to pick but here we go 🙂

David Tennant

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This man, OH MY GOODNESS! I started crushing on him when I started watching Doctor Who, he played as the 10th doctor. He is a great actor, and the accent, I’m a sucker for a man with a good accent 🙂 He played awesome as Doctor Who, then as Detective Inspector Alec Hardy in Broadchurch and as Kilgrave on Jessica Jones. Which I highly recommend you seeing all three of those. I swear the older he gets the sexier he gets 🙂

Tom Hiddleston

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This man…..the crush started when I first seen Thor, he plays as Loki. I don’t know what it is about this man but damn I just crush hard with him. He always looks better with black hair, and is an amazing actor. On a side note, I have an eye doctor who could literally pass as Tom Hiddleston’s twin, same body figure, looks and smile, it’s frigging crazy! It’s hard when you take your child in to have his eyes exam and not want to jump the guy lol

Till Lindemann

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He is a big, sexy, German 🙂 He is the lead singer of Rammstein, which I’ve been a fan for years now. His songs are of course all in German but thanks to people on the internet, you get the proper English lyrics. Not much more to say about his man, but DAMN lol

Well there we have it, at least three celebrity crushes. Of course there are many many more, and like some of us, we have an old man crush. I have a few old man crushes but I think the oldest man is….Sam Elliot, that deep voice is what does it lol.

What are at least 3 of your celebrity crushes? I would love to see! Don’t feel shy about it, share away 🙂

My First Love (day 19/30)

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Okay interesting one today “Discuss your first love”.

April 17, 2005 is when I got with my first love, I was 17 and met this guy online. He was about 3 years older than me, and he seemed like an amazing guy. Before we officially started dating he came to the house a few times, and when I first seen him in person I should of went with my gut instinct and said “HELL NO RUN AWAY”, but I didn’t.

Things seemed great the first 3 months we were together, then he decided to cheat on me, I should have learned right there to just stay away, but again I didn’t. We were apart for about 2 weeks then got back together. Overall, we were together for only 2 years. But, during that time there were several good times. We were happy a lot, we would go to the movies all the time and just enjoy being around each other, he even went to prom with me.

Some people thought our relationship was good, and some thought it wasn’t, when in reality it wasn’t. I cried A LOT during that 2 years, because he would cheat on me all the time, but stupid me would let him back in my life. I think it was because he was the only guy who showed interest in me. What pissed me off the most was, now I don’t usually judge peoples appearance but this time I had, the women he cheated on me were bigger than I was and ugly, like seriously.

January 2007, I found out that I have had a miscarriage, that’s when the relationship really went downhill. Then in March 2007 we finally split, he had already met someone before hand.

He is now married to that chick he met just before we split, is married and has 2 kids with her. I am now with my fiance of almost 9 years and have 1 child and I can’t be any happier with my life.

Interesting Facts (day 18/30)

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Okay today’s challenge is quite interesting “post 30 facts about yourself“, this shall be interesting. On a side note, it’s crazy I’m on day 17 already, I didn’t think I would stick with doing this everyday.

  1. I have a brother who is 2 years younger than me, and I have a sister (same dad different mom) who is um 9 months older than me
  2. I have dark brown eyes and long eye lashes, I’ve had people tell me they are jealous lol
  3. I grew up with an alcoholic father, he was mental and physically abusive at times during visitations
  4. I usually put everyone first before myself
  5. I’m pretty quiet, I’ve always been that person who hides in the corner away from everyone (joys of social anxiety)
  6. I see beauty in everyone but myself
  7. I am about 1/4 Native American, 1/2 Canadian & the rest Heinz 47 lol
  8. I thought about dropping out of high school in the 9th grade, but we moved and I liked the school and graduated
  9. I had a miscarriage, I was about 4 weeks along and didn’t know it til I had passed the fetus 😦
  10. I’ve honestly have only dated 2 guys and the 2nd is my fiance whom I’ve been with for almost 9 years!
  11.  I have a tendency to procrastinate until the last minute
  12. Growing up I always felt different from others, and as I got older I’ve realized I am and I am embrace it all the time 🙂
  13. I’ve had a love for video games since I played Nintendo when I was a kid
  14. When I was in 8th grade, some kid was picking on my brother and I grabbed the kid by the throat and had him a few inches off the ground
  15. I’ve NEVER smoked or done drugs
  16. I can only learn by visuals, I can’t read something in a book and learn it
  17. Love camping in a tent
  18. My first concert was when I was 14 and I got in for free cause my mom worked security, the bands that played were “Tesla – Skid Row – Vince Neil – Jackyl”
  19. I am FAR from being girly girl
  20. I prefer living in the country than being in the crazy city
  21. I have zero patience on a daily basis, but when I’m working on something I have patience go figure
  22. Very stubborn
  23. Have been basically shunned by some family members because they can’t handle I speak the truth
  24. Had an endometrial biopsy done because my doctor thought I might have cancer and came back with NO cancer
  25. I have only one child, whom is my everything
  26. My birthday is 11/12
  27. I love winter and spring
  28. I started getting gray hair since I was about 16 years old
  29. I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS)
  30. I weigh 354lbs and I am honestly healthy, I’ve had tests done and have shocked my doctors that I am fat and healthy!

Well there you have it, 30 facts about me. Took only 1/2 hour to figure out 30 things lol, it’s really hard to name things when you’re not used to describing stuff about yourself. Do you think you could take on just this one challenge?!